he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
