First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
