omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i've created a new STD.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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