You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize