she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
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Do I have a choice?
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this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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