I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
