this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
