do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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