i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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