the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think people are normalizing furries
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
