PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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