I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
