i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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