a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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