where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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