so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
