direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
