your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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