Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
