i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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