now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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