I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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