I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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