she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Randomize
