This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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