So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
