Please, let me fuck your mom
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
