I can text with my tongue
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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