I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
