official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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