i permit you to call me
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
