Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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