In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
