mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
