the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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