He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
