When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
