there was a trapeze. enough said
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
