I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
