im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
