when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
