He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize