u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
