I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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