Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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