my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
