I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
