for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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