new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
