my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
