My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
