I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
