Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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