LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I fill condoms, not promises.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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