Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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