Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
