Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
