Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just had sex on a roof
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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