dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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