im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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