Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
