No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
